Apr
29

Whose Expectations Are You Meeting?

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Whose Expectations Are You Meeting?

Most people tend to live out the expectations set for them.  Based on that statement can you answer the question; whose expectations are you meeting?  Are they the expectations you have for yourself or are you meeting those set by others?  While studying I found an interesting statement from Warren Bennis.  Warren Bennis, an American scholar, organizational consultant and author is widely recognized a pioneer in the contemporary field of Leadership Studies.  Warren has written many books including Becoming a Leader and  Still Surprised:  A Memoir of a Life in Leadership.

As I read the following statement I began to think about the origin and results of our expectations on performance.  Do we rise to the level of another’s expectations?  And are we meeting the expectations of those around us even when the standard is low?  Bennis said:

In experiment after experiment, workers who thought they were doing better did better.  In one experiment, ten people were given puzzles to solve.  They were all given fictitious results.  Half were told they had done well, the other half were told they had done poorly.  They were then given a second test, and this time they all did as well as or as poorly as they were told they did on the first test.  — Warren Bennis

Co-Workers Putting Together a Puzzle

When we think about that statement we can see how this impacts all our relationships.  It can be true in both our personal and professional lives.  Many times I would tell my children when they were growing up,  “I believe in you, you can do it.”  After accomplishing a specific task with broad smiles, they would exclaim “I did it, just like you said Mom”!  How often is that scenario and others played out unconsciously as we navigate our daily lives?

I am certainly not advocating giving your family, friends or employees fictitious results.   I am saying that there is a direct correlation between expectation and performance.  What impact do you have on the performance of those in your spheres of influence?  In addition how is your performance impacted by the expectations of others?  Let’s look at 5 questions to consider in evaluating the correlation between expectation and performance:

  1. What do I really believe about myself?
  2. What steps do I take each day to build my confidence level?
  3. Who has the greatest influence on my life?
  4. What incidents in the past have shaped my expectations regarding my performance?
  5. What incidents in the past have shaped my expectations regarding others’ performance?

Carefully answering the 5  questions can help you build awareness around how you are leading others and being led.  This can also be beneficial in enhancing your confidence and overriding low expectations.  I am grateful I ran across this passage from Warren Bennis.    While I was familiar with the name, Warren Bennis, I had not really experienced his work.  I look forward to spending more time reading his books.  I think you might find his materials insightful as well.  You can visit his website for additional information.

Take Action

Do you tend to have high expectations of people or low?  You can leave your comments below or by clicking here.

 

 

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Apr
26

Triple Your Thought Process Instantly?

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Triple Your Thought Process Instantly?

Having a systematic thought process is crucial in every situation.  So, what steps are necessary to triple your thought process instantly?  Certainly nobody wants to be dominated by thoughts that do not produce results.  But it can easily happen.

Pathway for thought process

As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind.  To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again.  To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives. — Henry David Thoreau

Developing your thought process to achieve your dreams will certainly not happen instantly.  However you can take steps to strengthen your thought process and reach your goals. Let’s look at some strategies to triple effectiveness in your thought process.

Observe your thoughts. You should be as comfortable observing your thoughts as a walker on a strange path.  Ask yourself are my thoughts leading me in the direction of my goals?  If they are not, then change them.

Change the way you think.  When you begin to consciously evaluate your thinking it will be easier to make the necessary changes.  It will not be easy though.  Any change in your thought process must be intentional.  So, what type of changes should you make?  If you are prone to negative thinking begin to evaluate your values.  What values do you hold that are not being honored by negative thoughts?

Identify your values and list ways you can honor them.  Carve out some time to look at what you believe and why.  According to Wikipedia.org values can be defined as broad preferences concerning appropriate courses of action or outcomes.  Because your values tend to influence your attitude and behavior it is wise to identify your core values.  This will help you assess how they impact your thought processes.

Evaluate your decision-making.  Are you prone to making hasty decisions or do you monitor your thoughts before taking action?  Find an accountability partner to help you evaluate how you make decisions.  Individual coaching can be very beneficial in your journey.  In my coaching practice I help my clients develop thinking patterns that move them forward.  My clients learn how to think the thoughts they wish to dominate their lives.

Triple Your Thought Process Instantly?

The steps listed above will help you to triple your thought process instantly.  The moment you begin to observe your thoughts you will notice a shift.  This will help you to begin to change what you think.  As you engage in the process you will be able to identify your ways and find creative ways to honor them.  As you identify and honor your values you will make decision based on your desires and wants.  As you continually walk the same path of purposeful thinking your dominate thoughts will lead you in the direction of your dreams!

What Are Your Thoughts

What impact does your values have on your dominate thoughts?  You can leave your comments below or by clicking here.

 

 

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Apr
24

5 Steps to Prepare For A Crucial Conversation

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5 STEPS TO PREPARE FOR A CRUCIAL CONVERSATION

Nobody really wants to have a crucial conversation that produces bad results.  Preparing for a crucial conversation is the best way to establish a foundation for a favorable outcome.  Not planning for these conversations can result in your losing your temper.  You cannot also end up saying the wrong things.  Sometimes we engage in conversations that leave us feeling frustrated.  There are a number of valuable lessons you can learn from the book, Crucial Conversations.  I have found this book to be a great resource.  I use the principles I have learned  in training and coaching my clients.

In the book, Crucial Conversations, there is a story about an executive, Greta.  Greta, the CEO, was leading a two-hour meeting with her top employers.  During the meeting a member of the team confronted her regarding her congruence.  Greta wanted to reduce costs however her actions did not show this.  When confronted by the employee Greta had to choose her response.  Would it be a professional response or  result in conflict.  Of course, conflict can be both uncomfortable and disarming.  However conflict when handled properly does not have to end badly.

Conversations

WHAT IS A CRUCIAL CONVERSATION?

The authors of the book, Crucial Conversations: Tools For Talking When Stakes Are High, define a crucial conversation as a discussion between two or more people where:

  1. Stakes are high
  2. Opinions vary
  3. And emotions run strong.

There are techniques that you can master as a leader to handle any situations.  How you handle conflict in any situation whether it is personal or professional will determine your success.  It also directly impacts the quality of your relationships.

So, what steps will help you in preparing for a crucial conversation?  Asking the question “what do I really want here” is key when engaging in meaningful dialogue.  This questions will help you to evaluate your motives.  In addition prepping in advance allows you to look at different scenarios.

Stopping to ask yourself “what do I really want here” will also help you focus on your priorities.  Here are a few questions to consider:

  • What are my goals for this meeting?
  • What do I hope to gain by having this conversation?
  • Will the person be better off when our interaction has ended?
  • How will I feel?
  • Do I appreciate the value of this relationship?
  • What are my underlying motives for this interaction?

I have found all of these questions to be very helpful when working with the leaders on my team.  I remember a conversation I had several years ago with one of my team leaders.  The leader called me to discuss a sensitive topic regarding something I had done.  My initial thought was “how dare you.”  However I did not verbally say this.  Instead I thought what do I really want to happen from this conversation.  I focused on the person and what they were saying.  I really sought to understand their perspective instead of trying to explain myself.  As a result of our time together, the time member felt heard and we continue to have crucial conversations when necessary.

Let’s look at the 5 steps to prepare for a crucial conversation.

  1. Keep your mind on the goal.  By focusing on the goal you can avoid trying to win.  You are also able to gauge your emotions.
  2. Don’t accuse others.  Seek to gain an understanding of the other person’s perspective.  That leads to another important step.
  3. Work on your listening skills.  Develop a pattern of listening intently to others.
  4. Practice pausing.  Before responding to the person, pause and think about your comments.
  5. Be willing to engage in the dialogue.  Mentally being prepared to stay fully engaged in the dialogue will help you to avoid shutting down or arguing your point.

These steps will help you get the most out of each interaction.  Remember, keep your mind on the goal, don’t accuse others, work on your listening skills, practice pausing and be willing to engage in dialogue.  When you master these steps you will find that you really will get who you want from the interaction.

If you would like to learn more about the book Crucial Conversations and resources, click here.

TAKE ACTION

How do you prepare for crucial conversations?  You can leave a comment below or by  clicking here.

STAY CONNECTED

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Apr
22

Career Planning

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CAREER PLANNING

Career Planning

Employers should have a career plan for their employees.  Career planning is mutually beneficial for the employee and employer.  While many employees understand and have a career plan, many do not.  To develop your employees set up a mutually agreed upon career plan.  According to Ron Kendrick: “Create a career plan for everyone in your organization.  Listen closely to their dreams, hopes, plans and ideas.  Challenge them to grow and excel, and then recognize and celebrate them when they do.”

Benefits of Career Planning

This career plan should be mutually agreed upon.  Every person in your organization can be successful when they have a plan and it is implemented.  Some of the benefits of a career plan are:

  1. Employee development of skills and interests.
  2. Recognition and strategy for the career path best suited for their talents.
  3. Providing the specialized training needed.
  4. A specific plan to help employees achieve career goals.

Having a career plan in place will help you offer opportunities for temporary assignments within your company.  You will also be able to provide mentoring for the team members.  Many companies provide professional coaching to assist employees.  This can be very effective in employee satisfaction and retention.

How to Develop a Career Plan

The following steps will help you to develop a career plan for your team:

  1. Listen to your employees.  What are their dreams?  What are their hopes?  How do they interact with you and other team members?
  2. Listen for clues to their plans and relevant ideas.  Are they contributing to their own personal development?
  3. Challenge each person to grow.  Develop a growth plan for them.  Share the plan with them and monitor the success.
  4. Meet with your employees at least once a month.  This will be beneficial in keeping them on track.

What Should be Included in Career Plan

Here are some items to include when writing a career plan:

  1. Include the employees  career goals.
  2. What are the requirements to meet the goals.
  3. What are the current skills and interests.
  4. A specific plan for growth, including benchmark.

Creating a career plan for your employees will promote professional growth and development.  This could also provide your company with a competitive edge.  A great resource is StrengthsFinder2.0

 Take Action

I would love to hear from you.

What type of career planning do you have for your employees?  How effective has this been in building your team?

 

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Apr
19

It’s Raining on my Dream

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IT’S RAINING ON MY DREAM

It's Raining on My Dreams

Do you sometimes feel like it is raining on your dream?  As a professional life coach I work with clients to provide support and accountability.   In addition, I help my clients to achieve a specific person or professional goal or dream.  I specialize in working with clients to empower their thinking.  This is important because your thinking impacts the quality of your life.  I also help to identify and evaluate the action steps necessary to live your dream.  Why is this important?  Because you are then able to stop talking about the dream and take the action to live from passion!

You might be asking what does it’s raining on my dream mean?  Well, let me share one of the lessons I learned early in life.  I learned not to let the weather determine how I show up each day.  You see, it was a cold and rainy day.  The kind that makes you feel like staying in bed.  Or maybe curling up with your iPad to read.  I had a nice outfit picked out to wear to school on that rainy day.  Because it was raining I didn’t want to wear it.  Instead I chose a green plaid dress, white shirt and some old worn tennis shoes.  I dressed for the weather.  I felt gloomy and uninspired.  I really did want to stay home.  Can you relate?

The Dreaded Sun

By lunch break something happened.  The sun came out.  So all the children went outside to the playground for lunch.  It wasn’t raining anymore.  Having old sneakers on with the sunshine was embarrassing.  Why, because I had dressed for the weather, meaning a rainy day.  And suddenly the sun was shining.  I could only blame myself.

You see I allowed my feelings about the weather to determine how I dressed.  As a result I didn’t feel my best.  Of course, this is not about dress.  It’s about a state of mind.  Likewise you cannot dress for where you are or where you have been.  In life we must prepare for where we are going.  Sometimes we hold back waiting for a day filled with sunshine.  Without preparation the sun will suddenly break through and you will not realize the rain and clouds have passed away.

My Choice

Really it was a choice I made.  It wasn’t my fault it rained.  I could not control the weather.  I did have control over the choices I made regarding how I would dress.  It was a way of thinking.  Rainy days meant I could lower my standards.  Sunny days meant I felt good and wanted to look my best.

Maybe you can relate.  Living in the Northeast we experience many cloudy and snowy days.  Often I don’t want to go out because it’s cold and gloomy.  Certainly neither you nor would achieve our dreams if we stayed home and didn’t do anything when the weather was rainy, cold, or snowy.

When we understand we have everything we need to succeed we act with confidence.  Of course, we are all a work in progress.  This is the reason why developing ourselves in every area is so important.  So don’t let the rain dampen your dreams.  If you want to learn more about living your dreams contact me.

Take Action

I would love to hear from you.

What are some of the things impacting your dreams?  How does the weather impact your plans?

 

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Apr
17

Delphine’s Daily Life Actions – Useful Work

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Delphine’s Daily Life Actions – Useful Work

Do not make riches, but usefulness, your first aim; and let your chief pride be that your daily occupation is in the line of progress and development; that your work, in whatever capacity it may be, is useful work, honestly conducted, and as such ennobling to your life. — Andrew Carnegie

Useful Work

How do you approach your occupation?  Do you consider yours to be useful work?  Why not spend some time today evaluating the what  you are engaging in each day.  According to Andrew Carnegie our usefulness should be first in our occupation.  The qualities needed are:

  • useful activities
  • carried out with honesty
  • while adding value and increasing.

What action step will you take to insure usefulness in life is your aim?

 

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Apr
16

Is Your Attitude Helping or Hurting You?

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Is Your Attitude Helping or Hurting You

Your attitude can either help you or hurt you.  Attitude is the one thing all human beings have complete control of and yet many unknowingly choose a negative attitude.  Amazingly enough we often choose to dismiss the fact that we can have complete control of our attitude.  Is your attitude helping or hurting you?

 If we understood the power of our own attitude in our lives, most of us would change it immediately.  How many times have you been told to change your attitude?  That is a common order from most parents, teachers, and authority figures!

A few months ago we discussed this topic and asked a very similar question:  Is your attitude moving you forward or backward.  To read that blog click here.

 Attitude leads to action

Attitude is created by your thoughts, feelings and actions.  Your mind controls feelings and decides whether these feelings will be positive or negative through your thoughts.  Your body then follows these thoughts through actions and behaviors.  It sounds simplistic because it is.  Simplicity certainly does not nullify fact.

 Thoughts Create Attitude

Through our thoughts, we create an attitude.  So what type of attitude are your thoughts creating?  This attitude is expressed based on how we internalize ideas.  Our mind and body move into a new frequency or vibration of conscious awareness known as feelings.  These feelings are then displayed through actions and behaviors that produce the results in our lives.

 Attitude [Thoughts + Feelings + Actions] = Results

 

Recently as I was preparing for the As  A Man Thinketh mastermind group I came across this quote from James Allen:  “A man’s mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will bring forth.”

 Imagine feeding our minds with positive thoughts which flow through the process.  We will end with positive results.  Now imagine feeding our minds with negative thoughts which flow through the process.  Of course the results will be negative.  Makes sense, doesn’t it?

 We all know negative people who drain us.  This constant flow of negativity eventually leads to negative feelings and eventually avoidance of the person.  I certainly do not want to feed my mind with negative thoughts.

 Changing Our Thoughts

By changing our thoughts, we can change our attitude, which will ultimately change our results.  Attitude is the creative cycle that allows us to feel a certain way and then take the necessary action to a specific result.

 So what should you do?  If your attitude is hurting you or moving you in the wrong direction; start with the end in mind and make the decision that today is the day to change your attitude!  We have a new mastermind that can help you.  For additional information click here.


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Mar
13

Daily Life Actions

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To Empowered Living,

Delphine Allen

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Mar
11

Daily Life Actions: Communicating for Action

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Communication is the soul of management:  analysis and solid decisions translated into clear messages that influence people to act and feel good about their performance.  — Dianna Booher

 When I found this quote by Dianna Booher, I was reminded of the occasional time when I had  discussions with my teenagers and the message seemed garbled.  My children would often say “why are you raising your voice”?  I didn’t feel I was raising my voice.  I wanted them to hear, understand and respond to the decisions I had made.  Apparently to my children it sounded as if I was using a megaphone to speak to them.  How do you sound to others? These conversations only highlighted the need for  analyzing my approach to connecting with my children.

 Whether you are dealing with your children or addressing your team; articulating the message is important to building bridges to others.  Cultivating your relationships adds tremendous value to you and your team.  As relationships grow, communicating your message to others inspires trust, motivates hard work, and it also generates positive momentum.  Certainly this will lead to action and enhanced performance for all involved.

Question:  In which setting do you feel the most comfortable:  one-on-one conversation, small group interaction, or public speaking?  Where do you feel the least comfortable?

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Mar
08

Delphine’s Daily Life Actions

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The majority of men meet with failure because of their lack of persistence in creating new plans to take the place of those which fail.  — Napoleon Hill


I used to enjoy running as a part of my exercise regiment.  My husband and I would go to the track a few times a week before our children were born. 

It’s been years since I tried to engage in serious running.  I recognized the need to practice often if I was going to have success as a runner.  Likewise, you and I cannot afford to give up because our plan fails.  

 If you have failed at becoming a serious runner, why not develop a new plan.  You could try a daily walk.  We all need alternative plans for success.  This will certainly help you to avoid internalizing feelings of failure.  We will also keep moving forward in our goals. 

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